I am so frustrated, trying to find a good doctor or midwife. I attempted to switch to a different place today, recommended by an internet buddy, and I wasn't very happy. I really should have done more research on the place first. First of all, the practice has 4 doctors, and 3 of them are men. I should have THOUGHT about this and realized that I'm not comfortable with a male doctor. I've never had one before, and I just felt funny having one touch me.
The appointment wasn't bad per se, it just didn't leave me feeling confident or compatible with the doctor. And since any of the 4 doctors could show up at my delivery, it's impossible to know what it will be like.
F@$%ing pregnancy hormones are getting me so emotional about this. I cried after leaving the appointment. There are SO many choices involved in having a baby. Which doctor, which crib, which baby carrier, which birthing method, midwife or doctor, the pacifier debate, etcetera, etcera. And since I have no job or anything else (other than knitting) to focus on, I feel extra overwhelmed. I NEED SOMETHING ELSE TO FOCUS ON!
I am so frustrated with my own lack of ambition. I'll think "Okay, I'll join a chorus" or "I'll take a photography class" or various other possibilities, and I never follow through. On the rare occasion that I do follow through, I usually do a half-assed job. God... I worry I'm not going to be a good mom with this attitude.
2 comments:
where are you delivering? do you have a preference? have you tried the brooklyn birthing center? the park slope midwives?
-regina aka regandbabe from ravelry
I'm going to the Brooklyn birthing center on Sunday for a tour. I have high hopes for them, and I hope I can deliver there. I'm thinking maybe a water birth, but I'm not against a regular birth in bed.
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