Kung-Fu Baby!

Gwen has been kicking up a storm tonight. Right now she's kicking me like crazy. It's not like any other feeling, I don't know how I would explain it to someone who's never been pregnant.

I can't really believe I'm already 5 months pregnant. It seems like it's been flying by. I suppose that by 8 months along, I might not feel the same way! But right now I'm enjoying being pregnant, other than being tired a lot of the time. It's exciting to feel her kick, and I like watching my belly grow (although the stretch marks aren't attractive). I'm still enjoying the novelty of all of it!

I love that it's getting cool out, and I've been wearing a cozy sweater for the past couple days. It has a faux fur hood that is great to snuggle against.

You know it's time for knitting when I say it's knitting time!

So, I'm happy to say that the Brooklyn Birthing Center seemed really nice. I went on a tour there yesterday, and I was pleasantly surprised at how homey it was. I have my first appointment there 2 weeks from Friday.

I'm almost done knitting the turtle that I started 2 months ago. I stopped working on it for a while, because I started to hate the i-cord edging that I had to do. But I picked it up the other day and it was like "What's the big deal?" It was easy. So now I just need to attach the legs and embroider some eyes onto it, and voila! I will have a Sheldon for Gwendolyn. I'm sure she'll come up with a cute name for him.

Then I'll work on the little cardigan for Gwen. It's so cute and simple, I don't know why I've been procrastinating working on it. It's purple & white striped. I can't wait to pick out some adorable buttons for it...

Feeling depressed

I am so frustrated, trying to find a good doctor or midwife. I attempted to switch to a different place today, recommended by an internet buddy, and I wasn't very happy. I really should have done more research on the place first. First of all, the practice has 4 doctors, and 3 of them are men. I should have THOUGHT about this and realized that I'm not comfortable with a male doctor. I've never had one before, and I just felt funny having one touch me.

The appointment wasn't bad per se, it just didn't leave me feeling confident or compatible with the doctor. And since any of the 4 doctors could show up at my delivery, it's impossible to know what it will be like.

F@$%ing pregnancy hormones are getting me so emotional about this. I cried after leaving the appointment. There are SO many choices involved in having a baby. Which doctor, which crib, which baby carrier, which birthing method, midwife or doctor, the pacifier debate, etcetera, etcera. And since I have no job or anything else (other than knitting) to focus on, I feel extra overwhelmed. I NEED SOMETHING ELSE TO FOCUS ON!

I am so frustrated with my own lack of ambition. I'll think "Okay, I'll join a chorus" or "I'll take a photography class" or various other possibilities, and I never follow through. On the rare occasion that I do follow through, I usually do a half-assed job. God... I worry I'm not going to be a good mom with this attitude.

Oops.

I kind of forgot about my blog for a while there! A lot has happened in the past few months. We moved. I got laid off. But between those two events...



We're having a baby! I am now 19 weeks and 3 days along. It's a girl (SQUEEE!) and her name shall be Gwendolyn Mae. She's due January 30th, and I can't wait.

When we first found out, we were a little freaked out (John especially), since she wasn't planned, and we're living in a pretty small apartment... But after a few weeks, it got more exciting, and it's brought us closer together. I actually feel like we're falling more in love (as corny as that sounds), now that we're going to have a family. It's so incredible. I'm very happy.

Feeling like crap. Not enough time/room to explain. Can't I just get paid to knit for a living? BLEH.

This is a test. I'm trying to blog from my cell. I'll be very happy if this works. I haven't blogged much lately, mostly due to the new job. Trying to squeeze in knitting, socializing, and (ugh) packing when I can! More later!

Ow... OW!

Well, when my cat hurts, I hurt. Literally. I'm not 100% sure what just happened because it happened so fast, but I think Tasty Paws must have been sitting right behind me, and I didn't see him, because I stepped on his tail (or maybe his paw, I didn't even see him there) and suddenly lots of claws were sunk into my calf. I hollered some curses and he went running at top speed in the back room. Once I got over the initial pain, I followed him, and he immediately tore down to the basement. Now he's hiding and I can't even see if he's okay until he decides to show his face. Little freak! I hope he's okay...

Also, we have another new cat living in our bathroom. She'll need a new home by the end of the month, because we're MOVING!!! We sign the lease tomorrow! It's a very pretty 2 1/2 bedroom in Sunset Park. I'll post pictures when we move in May.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Things have been very busy for me lately. I got a job about 3 weeks ago (I started March 17, I think) and now I have very little time to blog and go on Ravelry and worst yet, knit. I don't know how I'm going to get my grandmother's shawl done for her birthday. I guess I'll keep plugging away and try to to work on it more than I'm working on my swap gift -- Which is due a week or so after Grandma's birthday. But it's a much simpler pattern, and it's fun for subway knitting.

John and I are apartment hunting again, this time much more seriously. I think we may have found our new place. I'm going to look at one more apartment tomorrow after work, and then unless it's a real contender, I think we'll take this place in Sunset Park that's a short walk to my job!

Good Ears

I guess I have good hearing... I'm turning 27 soon but I passed this test (supposedly only people under 25 can hear it). I guess the real test is to try it again in 5-10 years!

Created by Train Horns

(Warning: If you can hear it, it's about as teeth-grinding as nails on a chalkboard... To me, anyway)...

Achy breaky head...

My head is killing me. A nice woman from my knitting group (Hi Penelope!) drove me to the subway station after the group let out, and as I was getting out of her car, I bashed my head on the top of the car. It still hurts, 2 hours later. That's not so good. I mean, it's not bad enough to be a concussion, but I kind of feel like I lost a few IQ points.

We found a home for Ralph, the new cat from the street! My mom's friend Ellen is taking him in on Friday for a "trial run", but I think it's likely that she'll keep him permanently. He's a pretty sweet little cat.